Thursday, February 4, 2016

Beginning My New Year: a young-ish pseudo lady's adventure in booze and writing

I haven't utilized this beast for bitching as of late. I have been keeping a tangible journal; something I have not done since childhood - and even at that I was bad.


- My Heywood Wakefield Rattan set is for SALE!!!! No cushions because they were destroyed when I bought it. If you know of anyone who is interested, oh please let a gal know

- Daddy's fairing well, just celebrated his 69th birthday at Thai Traditions

- Still dating, but I may have narrowed it down...significantly

- Started watching Parks & Recreation. I am several years late to this hilarious party

- Won the Rumble in Delano Pin Up Contest again. Those ladies were gorgeous. It came as a big shock. I love that there are other rockabilly enthusiasts in Wichita.

- I'm a vegetarian again. Sort of on accident, but I've missed the smug superiority I get from telling others that.... (just kidding - I just really love vegetables)

- FINALLY I bought a new car. Goodbye to my loyal Phoenix. Hello, to my sexy Black Widow

- Went to Los Angeles recently and saw good friends. Disneyland, beach, Medieval Times (yes, really), more beach, museums, food, wine, fun

- Still downsizing. I've made significant progress, but I have more to go. It's hard parting with my beautiful vintage clothing and furniture

- Blonde Streak is back

- New Tattoo

In conclusion, I feel more like myself than I have in years. I am more confident. I have a renewed appreciation in my kindness and compassion. I am in control. These are things I have not sensed in many years.

That being said: I present to you some visual imagery of the last few months.

Heywood Wakefield Rattan Set
Sectional, Coffee Table and Corner Table - Non-Heywake Rattan Chair included
My Daddy

Blonde Streak Returns
French Command for Love

Byyyyyyyeeeee Phoenix

Meet my Black Widow
Bangin LA Jumpsuit
Ah, yes. When the Ocean went up my skirt
Rumble in Delano
Miss Rumble Contest
Aaron Bowen Photography
Impromptu Shoot
(Sorry, for the unkempt hair)
Flowers at work
Always time for a first

Aimez-vous les unes les autres

Monday, August 31, 2015


**Cue Gob Bluth and his magic dance!**

The week has ARRIVED. But, with any hope, I'll pull through and see the light on Monday morning.

I do want to thank everyone who has been so amazing in the last several months. You know who you are. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for your continued friendship, love and support.

Good News:
  • I've taken up running again.
  • I've moved to a smaller, more cost effective living situation.
  • I silenced a grumpy 60 year old man being mean to a cashier in Dillons.
  • I have downsized my life dramatically and will be having a very vintage garage sale soon.
  • I can keep cereal in my house again.
  • I get a free 5 year anniversary gift from my employer... debating between headphones, a dvd player or bluetooth speakers.
  • My niece is in middle school and just joined band!
  • Law and Order Season 16 just came out on Netflix.

All in all, I have plenty to celebrate this week. I will focus on that and my family and friends.


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Sonnet for your Tuesday

Sonnet 43 - Shakespeare

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,

For all the day they view things unrespected;

But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,

And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.

Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,

How would thy shadow's form form happy show

To the clear day with thy much clearer light,

When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!

How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made

By looking on thee in the living day,

When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade

Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!

All days are nights to see till I see thee,

And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.

Sunday, June 28, 2015


As I sit here in my overly warm bedroom office with the setting sun blaring on me, I reflect on the decisions I have made.

I don't think that I am a person who does something randomly or without tremendous consideration. However, I must admit today was a mighty difficult day. Perhaps it was the news I received regarding a 'friend' of mind. Not really news, per say. I already knew this not-so-revelation was to occur. But reality has surprisingly struck me in the face once again. It made me sad.

So, I spent the day trying not to emotionally shop. For the most part, I succeeded. The 3 bags of radishes that are in my refrigerator are the wealth of my spoils. It has been just over three months since the end of what I knew as the rest of my life. Things are not terribly different. I mean, aside from the obvious fact I don't have him here with me and I still hate that I miss it. However, with me emotionally - I don't see myself as having grown. Despite my valiant attempts.

That sentence reminds me that I need to reschedule with my therapist. She is in support of my single-hood. She pointed out that I was in a relationship of some form or another for the majority of my 20s. It seems everyone is okay with this single shit, except me. I was suppose to get married. I had a financé - who I love(d), deeply. I had these things and all I can think is what possessed me to end everything I knew that would be okay?

I try to remind myself, but it is difficult. I know I want to be loved for who I am. I don't know if I will ever find that. But I do know that I am funny, intelligent, and willing to learn and grow. I also know I am not without fault. I am selfish and stubborn, among other things - but I want to transcend.

I need to transcend. I am losing a friend, but, I hope, I am gaining some further clarity on what it is I want and need out of my life.

Any negativity will hopefully evaporate in the upcoming 2 months. In addition to that negativity being flown out of my life - perhaps I'll work up the courage to delete my former fiancé's Netflix profile. My temporary roommate was prepping to do this, but I'm not ready. I hate to admit this, but perhaps there is part of me still holding out hope. I think that part of me is the same part that contemplates if she made the right decision.

Let's raise a glass to the journey I have ahead of me. Here is to being absolutely and utterly uncomfortable with every ideal I once had in my life. CHEERS!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Experienced the Divine Intervention

Just got back from a short excursion to Denver a few hours ago. I fell in love with Denver and anticipate I will be returning soon.

The reason for being in Denver: Bette-mother-fuckin-amazing-Midler.

Her tour, 'The Divine Intervention,' was just what I needed. I got to experience it with one of my biggest cheerleaders and best friends, Joanna. She was the person who enlightened me to the Divine Miss M.

Not only did Bette sing my favorite songs, she also did something completely unexpected, emerging 22 years later - Winifred Sanderson sang "I Put a Spell on You." Nothing could have prepared me for this. And it was outstanding.

She was divine and it was a lovely intervention for myself.

My Jo is an awesome Jo.

Always reminding me that I deserve better than what I think.