Monday, May 11, 2015

Deficiency in Thought

Self worth: n 1. respect for or a favorable opinion of oneself

I am working on this.

Although, I do respect myself, my actions are not currently reflective of this. I am reaching out for validation at every corner; this can have hazardous consequences.

I had a conversation late last week regarding neediness in relationships. While this is something that the general populace seems to comprehend, it was very enlightening to me to relate it to my life and my relationships.

The speaker advised that in toxic relationships, one or both individuals have a need that he or she needs to fulfill. It could be as simple as a wealthy man looking for a mother for his children, and a woman with many unpaid bills. This is the most generalized and accessible version to introduce this concept. Initially, it appears as if the partners are using one another, and, perhaps they are to a point; however, there can still be love or general admiration, which often keeps these individuals in toxic relationships.

Upon applying it to my life and my relationships, I became fascinated at its accuracy. I have identified my ‘need;’ so next it is the task of learning to satisfy that requirement without the assistance of another person. It is a rather beautiful philosophy, actually. Once one is no longer ‘needy’ and finds another ‘non-needy’ person, they can respect and love each other as full individuals, because they truly want to be with that person – and not to satisfy a deficiency in himself/herself or life.

The tides keep coming in and fading out, and the beach draws a new slate with every wash.

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